I have not written lately as I have had a bad case of writers block. The process has been write, erase, repeat over and over. I do not know why - maybe being sick, maybe the stress of the realities of life, or maybe just children constantly interrupting. I feel the fog of the block lifting but not quite there yet so do not expect anything profound or witty.
The eight chicks we got has now become seven. We got up one morning to find Gabby's chick looking rather odd. Over night it had almost feathered out all of it's wings and looked scruffy. She would not stay with the other chicks and appeared tired. I wanted Gabby to know she had done what she could for the little thing so we took the chick out and let her run around in the bedroom with one other chicks for company. The chick did seem to perk up a little but was still not walking tall like the others, her little neck just seems to be contracted in a hunched position. I had told Gabby to pray but be prepared for the worst. The next morning her chick was dead. She handled it at best as she could and Crystal the chick is now buried in a box in our backyard.
Being one that always believes God will provide, but also know that God has His own paths for us which is not always our first plan or thoughts, I have been praying a lot about how I am going to support us as the children grow up and move on with Jim being disabled. This week a neighbor said I could sell my crafts in her store, another neighbor we found out has a restaurant and will buy all of her eggs from us (15 more chicks ordered today), and I purchased an antique vanity to restore. The same neighbor that will let me sell my crafts in her store also said if I do a good job on this restoration, she will have me do all of her restoration work. I also found a second walnut tree on the property and since I am allergic, I will be able to sell all of the walnuts that come from the tree. God is providing in more ways than I ever thought.
On the note of blessings, a dear neighbor has given us so much food from his garden that my new to me freezer (thank you to a new friend at church for that gift) is almost completely full of green beans, zucchini, summer squash, corn, peppers, and tomato sauce.
I do not know what we have done to deserve so much love from so many. I do not know how I will ever give back as much as I have been given. I am beginning to wonder if us coming into contact with so many other foster parents and all of these good tidings is not a sign for us to go back into foster care. We cannot until we have lived here six months and honestly, I do not feel emotionally ready for it, nor would I bring a foster child into the home when we have a teen that has almost been arrested three times due to his anger issues around the other children. I am praying on this a lot but feel God's path is heading us towards medically fragile children again. We will see what He has in store for us.